Rainbows and the Promise of a New Day

Welcome to Postmodern Accident. Initials: P.A. Remember those initials.

HEAD ÜBER ALLES

In honor of Radiohead, who are yet again singlehandedly destroying the music industry with their revolutionary marketing techniques and stupid universally-acclaimed album In Rainbows, I have decided to revisit some real music, from back when the industry was securely in power and all the wheat was appropriately threshed from the chaff.

HEAD OVER HEELS


I think I first heard Paula Abdul's "Knocked Out" on some sort of Saturday dance-remix thing on pop radio, or maybe at Six Flags or on that old show Club MTV. At the time, it wasn't a big success, and I know why... it seemed like generic dance-pop fluff. Then "Straight Up" showed up *everywhere*. This had the perfect kind of attitude that made teen girls feel sassy but didn't really threaten the boys, because Abdul was kinda hot. Not everybody remembered her from her cameo in Janet Jackson's "Nasty" where her hair was kind of permed and silly-looking. Now her hair was all straight, and I think the video used that weird stretch-effect you get when you film in a wide aspect ratio but convert it to 4:3, so she looked tall and slender. And if I recall, the lighting made her look whiter than I think she actually is and her hair was a brassy color: an obvious marketing ploy to nab the suburbs. I believe next was "Forever Your Girl," which is subpar, as it focuses mostly on sweet pop and abandons the dance element that gave her attitude. By this time, though, it didn't matter -- the song was a massive hit in that Debbie Gibson-ish teen pop format and Abdul was a genuine superstar. Then she did the smart thing - she unleashed the Madonna-esque "Cold Hearted." This reconfirmed her dance strengths, and solidified the attitude with a genuinely sexy video, one that was deemed too steamy at the time for kids to watch. (How things change...) This song remains at the core of Paula Abdul nostalgia for an entire generation. After three massive chart-topping hits in a row, she re-released "The Way That You Love Me." Catchy, but nothing special, and the song only went to #3. But nothing could prepare the world for what Paula unleashed next... a duet with an animated cat. Called "Opposites Attract," the song was a trailblazer that won over even the most reluctant pop fan, and rightfully restored Abdul to the top of the charts. Not only was she a pop superstar, but she also managed an urban, artsy cool. It was only on the tail end of this winning streak that a remixed "Knocked Out" found some success, promoted as the key track from her second release, a remix album.

After all that, the backlash started. Could Paula Abdul really sing? Note that she didn't have a ballad in her catalog, the true test for a pop star. Well, she quieted the naysayers when she released the delicate "Rush Rush" upon the world, buoyed by a drag racing video featuring Keanu Reeves, who was just on the cusp of breaking out of his teen stardom. And Abdul proved with "Rush Rush" that she offered something for adults as well. Sadly, even though it would become her biggest hit, it also became her last, as "The Promise of a New Day" offered nothing new, the moody "Blowing Kisses in the Wind" made its biggest impact as elevator music, and the clubby "Vibeology" failed to make anyone care. Ace of Base was much more interesting.

"He's been telling lies."